


Ruins

by thinkatory



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Choking, Erectile Dysfunction, Incest, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Sexual Repression, The Dark Side of the Force, Uncle/Nephew Incest, Violent Sex, Violent Thoughts, Virgin Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:21:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23684569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thinkatory/pseuds/thinkatory
Summary: No one can know. No one needs to know. Whatever it takes for Ben to survive what keeps happening, whatever it takes to keep him from growing more and more troubled each and every day with the dreams that plague him, even if it's this: it's worth it.Ben Solo gives in.
Relationships: Luke Skywalker/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25
Collections: Smut 4 Smut 2020





	Ruins

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aurae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurae/gifts).



> I tried to include a bunch of the tropes you asked for here; I really hope you enjoy this, Aurae!

Ben's pulse races. He can feel it in his throat, in his wrists, and harsh in his chest. It's been three days since Luke took the blaster shot to his side, and Ben's sat at a quiet vigil just outside the door of the Jedi Temple's hospital wing since Luke went under. The problem is, Luke is awake now, and Ben still can't move.

Something horrible is threatening to stir in him; he breathes slowly to stem it.

There's no denying what's happening right now, and that's why he can't look Luke in the face. Luke knows him too well, he can read his face like a skim of a text, and if Luke sees _this_ it might be the end of everything.

Can he pull himself together? Is he going to be useless until Luke walks out of this ward, then flee out of shame and fear? Ben presses the heels of his hands into his eyes and tries to collect himself again.

It's very dark. It's late. The light coming from the hospital wing is dim, and there's no one there, which is why Ben stiffens as he hears the movement of bedclothes coming from the room. Is Luke awake, is he well enough to move? What is he going to do if Luke just strolls out here now?

The rustling of sheets keeps on, though, then a soft murmur breaks through the silence, followed by a grunt. Ben's breath is near frozen in his chest when he realizes, just maybe, what is happening.

It becomes more obvious in the next few seconds, when Luke lets out a ragged, soft moan, and it's too much for Ben. He gets to his feet, then stops cold when arousal takes complete control of him. He moves carefully into the doorway, hidden by the door, able to see just enough.

Luke's hand jerks under the blankets, and his back is arched just enough as his hips move his cock into each firm movement of his hand. His head is thrown back but Ben can see his mouth open just slightly, and a groan escapes. Ben's mouth trembles, and he's half-hard already just watching Luke work himself into a fervor until he grunts sharply and sinks back.

Ben hunches into himself in an effort to stay calm from what he's just seen, vague images in his head of what it would have looked like if Luke had thrown back the blanket, threatening to arouse him even more. He flees.

He needs to sleep. He needs to forget this ever happened.

* * *

For once, Ben's dreams are free of flashes of horrible images he can't put away in the morning. Instead, he dreams of Luke. It's a tangle of a dream, not one clear story, but vivid images and feelings one after another: Luke on top of him, pressing his cock hard into Ben's mouth, Luke yanking on Ben's cock until, shaking, he comes. Waking up is a trial in and of itself, because it's over, and he has to deal with those consequences.

He manages to will down the erection. He can't be dealing with this right now, if ever.

Today, he trains. He needs to. He needs to get his head in order. He's a wreck. He's disgusting. 

When he slams a Jedi to the ground and knocks his head into the stone, they send him away. "Go to Luke," they say. He slams his eyes shut, tosses his head, and storms off.

They're right. He has to deal with this.

The hospital wing is busy when he gets there, and Luke's back in his regular clothes, sitting up and making easy conversation with the girl running a diagnostic on him. His uncle's gaze goes up to him as he approaches, and his arrival garners a smile.

"Hey," Luke says, considering him. "I'm on my way out. Want to help me there?"

What else is he supposed to say? "Yeah. Sure."

An awful feeling is stirring in his stomach as Luke stands and moves to his side. He can tell right away Luke doesn't need any propping up or help and this is all an act to get Ben to talk to him, but he lets it slide and plays along.

"So," Luke says casually. "When were you going to come visit?"

"It's complicated," Ben mutters.

"What's complicated?"

What is he supposed to say? "I just couldn't."

"Ben," Luke starts, a little weary.

"It's not easy," Ben says, a little sharp. "I thought I saw you die."

There's a brief silence as Luke seems to consider that, then he speaks up. "I'm not that easy to kill. You should know that."

"I'm just saying," Ben retorts, but Luke cuts him off with a gesture. Tension stretches between them as Ben grows resentful in the pause, then fires back, "You're not perfect. You know that."

Luke laughs in utter amusement. "Oh, Ben, I know I'm not perfect."

Ben doesn't find this funny. "So even you can die."

"I know I can die," Luke says, easy. "But a _laser blast_ isn't the way I'm going out."

"Oh, so you've got this planned?" Why is he getting angry? This is terrible. Why can't he calm down? "Yeah, fine, how are you going out?"

"The Skywalker way," Luke answers, and a wry smile starts on his face. "Terrible and necessary."

"Stop it," Ben demands. "This isn't funny."

Luke considers him, more serious now. "I really scared you," he notes with vague surprise. "Ben, you need to know, I'm stronger than you think."

"I know," he says, as levelly as he can. "I know, you're Luke Skywalker."

"I don't mean that," Luke says after a pause, glancing away. "Ben, I'd never leave you. Got it?"

The anger he uses to shield himself can't hold back the feelings that wash over him now, and he sets his jaw and breathes as normally as he can to get through it. Neither shame nor love win him over in that moment, a horrible mix of the two just settling in his stomach and distracting him until he barely catches the end of what Luke says: "...so, what are you going to do?"

"What?" Ben asks, his voice a little strangled.

Luke sighs. "You're struggling again," he says, voice softer. "I want to help you. But I can't do that if you're not going to talk to me. What are you going to do?"

He goes a little rigid at the mention of _struggling again_. Luke doesn't know the extent of what he deals with every day, but he knows that there are times when even touching upon the Force in his raw strength can be too much for him. He's probably Luke's most difficult student, because it all depends on the day, whether or not the darkness of his dreams twists his mind into a shape that can't deal with the calm of the Jedi approach.

"How can you help me?" he asks, tone as clear as he can make it.

They've made it to Luke's quarters. Luke steps away from Ben to move inside, and gestures for Ben to follow him. He does, reluctantly, wishing he could escape and go somewhere private to obsess about his dreams, and closes the door behind them.

"Sit," Luke instructs, and Ben sits automatically, well-trained enough for that. Luke sits beside him, and takes a short breath. "Right," he says. "Will you let me look?"

The next breath catches in Ben's throat. "Luke," he says, tensed.

"I want to understand what we're dealing with," Luke says firmly. "If you let me look, maybe I can help you."

"That's unnecessary." Ben knows he's trapped. He knows there's only one way out of this, and it's probably the worst thing that's ever going to happen to him. He's going to be expelled from the Temple, and have to face his mother realizing he's an abomination after all. The shame wins out, and his breaths come shallow.

"Ben." Luke takes him by the face and forces eye contact, even for a moment. "Whatever it is, I want to help you. You know that."

Anger flares in him, and he starts shaking. "Leave me alone."

" _Ben_ ," Luke says, demanding. "You need to stop. Now."

Ben aches, not sure if he wants to jerk away from Luke's touch or lean into it, to get even the slightest twinge of what he wants. "I don't want you to – "

It's too late. Luke's gently touching upon his mind, and the truth all unspools before him before Ben can stop it, the terror unleashing it all against every instinct in his reasonable mind. Luke jerks back, and Ben has to choke back panicked tears as he backs up as well.

Luke is staring at him, and Ben can't deal with this. "I have to go. I have to – " He's on his feet as he babbles, but Luke's got him by the wrist. He tries to yank away, but Luke's grip is firm. He glares at Luke, the start of tears in his eyes already, and just snaps. "You don't want me here. Not now."

"I need to talk to you," Luke says, holding Ben's gaze. "I need you to stay here. Can you do that?"

What else is he supposed to do? "Just expel me," he says. "I know that's what you want to do."

Luke laughs, astonished. "Ben," he chides. "Are you kidding me?"

"I'm serious," Ben snaps off. "Just do what you're going to do."

"Sit," Luke says, in his Master tone, and Ben consents, still shaking. There's a pause as Luke seems to be considering what to do, then he touches Ben's face, gently wiping away the start of tears. His voice goes about as tender as the gesture. "Ben, I've wanted to talk to you about some things for some time now."

Ben doesn't know what to say, so he sits still, as Luke moves closer, touching his forehead to Ben's, his hand grazing down to the back of Ben's neck. "Between Jedi and padawan," Luke says softly, "these feelings are… not unexpected, do you understand?"

His voice is a little choked as he speaks. "But you're…"

"We're family." Luke sighs, and Ben can feel his breath warm against his face. He can feel his face going pink. "Ben, you have to know that I love you."

"I do." Ben has never doubted that. "That's why I didn't want this to ruin everything."

"Ben." Luke shakes his head slightly, and his eyes are shut tightly. "If I did anything, I would still be your Master. I would still… have that hold over you. Do you understand?"

He doesn't, honestly. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I don't know if I put this idea in your head or not," Luke says, tone flattening a little. "And if I did, that's… cruel, and wrong, and I need to apologize."

"Luke." It hurts too much to bear. "No. This is… this isn't you. This is me."

"And what if it isn't?" Ben's never heard this tone of voice before, something from deep inside Luke, agonized. "What if I did this to you, to us?"

"Luke, stop," Ben fairly begs, then gives in completely and presses a kiss to Luke's mouth. There's only a split-second where Luke is still, stunned, then he leans into the kiss and kisses him again after. They break, and Ben is the first to speak. "I know my own mind," he says, barely audible. "I know what I feel."

Luke doesn't look sure, but his gaze is also clearly on Ben's lips now, and Ben's one taste of this horrific, perfect thing isn't enough. He kisses Luke again, and again, and presses him back as they kiss until he's on top of his uncle and overwhelmed with the lust of his dream in sharp daylight. "Let me try," Ben murmurs, his lips grazing Luke's. "No one needs to know."

That seems to be all Luke needs to hear to give in, as he pulls Ben in for another kiss. Ben has no idea what he's doing, to be honest, forever too in his own head to ever experiment with the other Jedi or anyone at all despite any rules, so he's just doing what feels right, clumsy as it is. Luke doesn't seem to care, and as Luke pulls his clothes off to get his mouth and hands at bare skin Ben feels as though his skin's aflame.

His heart's racing again, but it's so much different than last night. He's _elated_ even as he's disgusted with himself, and he's already so hard, pressing his cock hard against Luke's thigh, desperate for as much of this contact as he can get.

Luke runs his fingers into Ben's hair and grips, pulling his gaze up from the kisses Ben was trailing down Luke's bare chest. "You want this," he checks.

"Yes," Ben says, voice soft and low.

"Right," Luke says, heat and shame in his gaze, and he works on getting Ben's trousers off. Ben's giddy once they're finally all bare skin to bare skin, and presses himself firmly against Luke's hard cock. He meets Luke's gaze, for permission, and gets a nod; he keeps Luke's gaze as he drops his hand between them to Luke's cock and starts to work it just as he saw Luke do under the covers.

It isn't perfect, not the way Ben imagined it, but Luke guides him and teaches him the movement, color in his face as he moves his hips to thrust against Ben's hand. "There," Luke says, barely audible, and groans. "Oh, that's nice."

Ben can't imagine ever being this aroused in his life. He commits himself to the motion, then Luke gets out, "Ben, are you, are you sure – "

"Luke," Ben snaps off, breathless. "I swear."

"Then put your mouth on it," Luke pants, and Ben doesn't waste any time trying it. At first Luke's cock seems too big to manage, and Luke warns him to move his teeth out of the way, but his eyes drift closed as he gets used to the sensation. Luke seizes him by the hair and starts rocking his cock in and out of Ben's mouth, and Ben groans, seizing his own cock with a hand and starting to jerk it just as he'd done to Luke before he can think too hard about what might happen if he succumbs to lust.

"Good," Luke says, half a groan, and makes a choking sound. "Oh, that's, that's fantastic."

"Mm," Ben manages, beyond aroused now. Luke pulls Ben's head away from his cock gently, and stares down at him. "What?" Ben asks, soft.

 _This is wrong._ It's written all over Luke's face. But there's a recklessness in his gaze, too, and Ben smiles faintly. That breaks through Luke's shame, for now, and he draws Ben up to him. "I want to know," Luke says, tone sober, expression serious. "I want to know that you won't hate me for this."

"Stop," Ben says; it hurts the more and more he questions this, and it stirs his fears worse and worse, making his mind tangle the way it does every night. "Just… do what you want with me."

"I want you to…" Luke struggles for a moment. "I want you to want this."

"Luke." He exhales. "I don't know anything. Okay?" An embarrassing admission. "I never… I can't, okay? I've never been able to – I just make them go away."

"You've never been able to what," Luke asks, gentle.

"Allow myself," Ben says, embarrassed, horrified, and vulnerable now. "To, to touch myself. I don't deserve – "

"Stop." Luke's tone is sharp but soft at the same time. "You deserve everything you can earn, Ben. You know that."

Does he? "I just can't," he confesses. "I can't… let go." What would happen if he let go? What would take over his head?

Luke shakes his head. "You can let go with me."

Ben tries to calm down, just too overwhelmed and overstimulated, then Luke kisses him on the mouth, and Ben drowns in it. He arches into Luke's practiced touch on his cock, and it's as though each stroke pulls more darkness through him, away, but through his core. He breathes heavily against Luke's shoulder as Luke has him pinned on his back now, working his cock with a firm hand.

"Come for me," Luke says, voice soft but demanding.

"Luke," Ben gets out.

"Come."

Ben is terrified, but Luke's hand feels so incredibly good around him, and he struggles until Luke drops his head into Ben's lap and begins to suck his cock. His head lolls back against the bed as the sensation overwhelms him, and Ben doesn't make it two minutes into the movements of Luke's mouth around his cock before something powerful and terrifying and new overwhelms him, throughout his body and into his heart, and he comes hard onto Luke's tongue.

Ben's shaking as Luke wipes his mouth and moves up to him again. "You're okay," Luke assures him. "Right?"

Ben doesn't know. "Yeah."

Luke examines him, careful, then pauses. "Do you trust me?"

"Stop asking," Ben says, a little shaky.

"Sorry." Luke pauses, then moves to call a bottle to his hand. "If we're only going to do this once, I want to try something."

They're only going to do this once? Well, that's probably a good idea. "Yeah," Ben says, still reeling from the intensity of what just happened. Luke squirts some of the liquid from the bottle onto his hand, then moves between Ben's legs.

"Trust me," Luke says, straightforward, "and close your eyes."

Ben lets his eyes drift shut, and exhales sharply as Luke presses his fingers inside of Ben. "Breathe," Luke whispers. Ben tries to keep his breaths steady as Luke fingers him, at first gently, then firmly; he doesn't quite know what's happening but so far it's an interesting feeling, until Luke presses his fingers harder inside Ben and he groans out Luke's name.

"Yeah," Luke says, soft, intensely aroused, and fingers Ben harder until he's gasping. Once Luke takes his fingers away, Ben doesn't know what to think, until Luke's cock is pressing inside him, his legs over Luke's shoulders now, and his thoughts don't have much say anymore.

"Oh," Ben manages as Luke rocks easily, slowly, in and out of him. "Oh, wow – "

"Yeah," Luke whispers again, and starts a hard rhythm within a minute or two. It feels better than Ben would've ever imagined, all of Luke's cock pressed inside of him, and he grips the bedding hard for any kind of anchor in the moment. Just as he's starting to feel his cock rise, though, Luke grunts in a less aroused and more frustrated way and pulls away.

"What?" Ben asks, voice quiet, sitting up slightly.

"This happens," Luke says, half-complaining, as he's working his cock, now softer than what he'd just had inside of him.

Ben stares, a little confused, then shakes his head. "It's fine," he says.

Luke raises his eyebrows, then considers Ben. "Give me something to look at," he suggests.

"What?" Ben repeats, startled.

Luke laughs. "Touch yourself, kid," he says.

Ben hesitates, then slips his hand around his just-stirring cock, closing his eyes and thinking about the feeling of Luke thick and hard inside of him, hitting that sweet spot, as he touches himself. He can hear Luke make a soft sound of approval, but he doesn't care as he jerks himself until Luke is between his legs again, pressing inside of him.

"Keep going," Luke whispers, and Ben nods, opening his eyes to hold Luke's gaze without hesitation as his uncle thrusts into him, his hand working his own cock. He's never felt anything this intense before, and he doesn't want to look away from the wildness in Luke's gaze. No one should want him this badly. It's not even the uncle-nephew problem, it's the him problem. _No one should want you this badly, Ben. You're you._

He can't deal with this right now, this burst of dark feelings throughout him, as Luke bites back groans, burying his cock hard into him. "Luke," Ben says, desperate. "Say it."

"What?" Luke whispers, clearly frustrated at having to think in the moment.

"Please, say it," Ben tries again, and grips his fingers into Luke's hips. "Tell me."

Luke looks into his face, then, tender, realizing. "I love you, Ben," he says, just audible enough for Ben to hear.

Relief washes over him, and he arches his hips into Luke's next thrust, an invitation to carry on. Luke wears a small smirk before he pins Ben to the bed and hits him with thrusts so hard all thoughts leave his mind until he comes with a desperate, bit-back groan. Luke pulls out of him, then within a minute, Ben opens his eyes as Luke's come gushes onto his stomach, right near the mess of Ben's come spread across his belly and thigh.

There's silence as they catch their breaths, coping with what they've just done, and Luke summons a towel to his hand to wipe away the come from Ben's body, in a gentle, delicate motion. Then Luke leans in to kiss him, insinuating, and Ben does everything he can to let this good feeling fight off the dark, instead of threading it through him like a needle binding him to a dark fate with each stroke.

"I love you," Ben voices after the kiss, and Luke can't completely hide the worry nor the relief from his face.

They rest together, silent, naked bodies pressed lightly together, until they drift to sleep.

* * *

It's not the only time.

No one knows. Ben knows that. Nothing has changed about the way they engage in training, in front of people. But when Ben goes to sleep, there's always the chance that Luke will come to him and take him hard.

Ben doesn't know how to cope with love. He's never been able to cope with it, not with his parents, not with Chewie or any of the others. He's been a wreck and a mess as long as he can remember. He's been angry and frightened for as long as he can remember. But when Luke is fucking him, in the moment, he almost feels relief.

No one can know. No one needs to know. Whatever it takes for Ben to survive what keeps happening, whatever it takes to keep him from growing more and more troubled each and every day with the dreams that plague him, even if it's this: it's worth it.

He rests his cheek against Luke's chest, relishing the moment before his uncle has to leave and return to his quarters to maintain the illusion that everything is normal.

Ben twists in his sheets that night, mind bending under the sound of screams in his head and the overwhelming power that is in his grasp if he surrenders to something he refuses to name.

His heart races as he wakes.

Luke is gone.

His breaths are shallow. He pulls his clothes on, his hackles raised in fear, and he snatches up his staff to train, and train, and train in the dim light of just before dawn.

In the morning training, he makes them bleed, and his heart thrills before Luke sends him away to pull himself together.

* * *

There's a mix of concern and anger on Luke's face as he stands with Ben outside of the hospital wing with the latest Jedi Ben's injured lying under care there.

"You need to figure out what's going on," Luke says, sharp and worried all at once, "or I'll do it for you."

"Everything is fine," Ben says, steady, and means it.

What he's doing is right. He knows that now.

Luke shakes his head, and pulls Ben to his quarters without another word. They're kissing fiercely within seconds, and yanking each other's clothes off, before Luke breathes into his ear, "Take it out on me."

"What?" Ben whispers, blood rushing through his ears in the heat of the moment.

"You heard me."

Ben feels the bloodlust rise as though Luke called it to the surface. He doesn't waste any time getting Luke to the bed. It's a rush of images instead of the languorous stream of lust he's used to when they do this: no preparation for Luke, just a dose of lotion before he shoves himself inside of his uncle's ass, his hand against Luke's throat to pin him hard against the bed, the way Luke's back arches and twitches under the pressure, until his mind breaks from the pleasure and power and he comes.

He pries his hand off of Luke's neck and wastes no time cleaning himself up and getting dressed again.

"Ben," Luke says softly.

Ben doesn't acknowledge it. He just goes.

* * *

Luke lets him get violent with him, on and off, now. Ben loves it, but the feelings don't go away. He manages to hold back just enough to keep himself from sending Jedi to the hospital again, but his mind twists between overwhelming fear, overwhelming anger, and overwhelming lust, without a single thing he can do to redirect them.

Even Luke Skywalker doesn't have the power to fix this.

* * *

The dreams are particularly rough tonight, full of blood and chaos, and Ben is nauseous as he wakes, slowly, aware that someone is there with him. He's relieved immediately, sure when he opens his eyes he'll see Luke there, prepared to crawl into bed with him.

The glow of the lightsaber is the first thing he sees, then the fear and determination in Luke's eyes. It doesn't take much for him to read it all over his uncle's face, and he calls his lightsaber to him, the same perfect determination to destroy and _win_ and not be so _frightened_ rising in his heart just as they do in his dreams.

Even Luke. Especially Luke. Especially all those who feared him instead of loved him.

After, Ben stares as it all burns, at the scattered bodies, with his followers behind him.

"We're going," he says, a harsher tone in his throat now, one that feels unfamiliar but exactly what he needs to be, now and forever. "Ready the ship."

There's nothing left for him here.


End file.
